我吃饭妈吃精
一、妈妈的水煮蛋
晚上妈妈煮了一锅水煮蛋，说要拿去卤，叫我帮忙剥开。
我剥了好几个，但是壳跟肉都黏得好紧，被我弄得坑坑巴巴的。
妈出来检查时，把我骂了一顿，亲自拿起一颗蛋来剥。
「呵呵，好难剥喔。」妈看了手中的畸蛋说道。
我捏了一下妈的大腿，叫道：「看吧，刚刚还凶我。」妈又从厨房端来一盆冰水，把温热的鸡蛋浸着几分钟后，拿起一颗再剥，还是不行。叹道：「这样怎么卤啊，怎么办？」我突然想到一部youtube上的短片，
便让妈把裤子脱了，将冰凉的鸡蛋塞进妈的美屄。
「啊……好冰！」妈妈用力抓住我的肩头，艰难的说着话。
「妈，你忍忍。」待鸡蛋整颗没入穴里，我喝道：「就是现在。」「吚……呀……哈！」妈弓起身子，下身用力挺出，一颗白晶晶圆晃晃的事物应声射出。
我甩手接过，摊开手心一看，果然是一颗完整无瑕的水煮裸蛋。
我开心的喊道：「妈，成功啦！」
却听妈颤抖着声音道：「蛋……蛋壳好刺。」
我赶紧将手指伸进妈妈的嫩穴，小心翼翼勾出一片片的碎蛋壳。
看着蛋壳全部被取出，我和妈才松了一口气。
我捧着妈妈惨白的脸蛋儿，不停地在她小嘴上亲着。
「妈，你好棒，生出了一颗又白又胖的蛋娃娃。」只见妈摇摇头，神色坚毅地指着那锅水煮蛋道：「再来。」那一日，我和妈妈剥了整夜的水煮蛋。
二、妈妈的蛋炒饭
这日回家，第一件事就是走进厨房看妈妈在忙些什么。
「妈，肚子饿了，晚餐吃什么？」我突然从后面围抱住妈妈，那丰实有弹性的屁股一下就激起了我的性欲，倒将食欲压了好一半儿下去。
「吓我一跳，你这孩子就知道顽皮，去把冰箱的剩饭拿出来蒸一蒸。」妈妈扮了个不悦的表情，无情地摇臀踢腿将我逼开。
将冷饭盛在盘里放入电锅，看妈正熟练地切着火腿粒，便道：「要炒饭啊，那干麻还蒸饭，多此一举。」妈白了我一眼道：「隔夜饭硬梆梆的能炒吗？当然是蒸热了才好炒啊。」我才恍然大悟。常人都说炒饭要隔夜饭才好吃，我却不晓得中间还有这么一道工序。
于是也将硬梆梆的鸡巴掏出来，抵在妈妈光滑的大腿上轻轻磨擦。
妈啐道：「干麻呀你这孩子，没见妈在忙吗？」我道：「妈，我在加热呢，隔夜精不好吃。」
妈拧着我的脸颊向上一提，笑道：「倒还懂得举一反三，不过啊，你要热了给谁吃呢？」我只能歪着脖子讨饶：「妈，您不想吃就说嘛，人家也是怕您饿着了。」老妈呸了一声，转身开火热锅去了。
等那铁锅冒出白烟，妈妈将蛋液倒入，用铲子不停地搅动。
不多时，蛋液结成了许多细小的蛋碎，一阵香味扑鼻而来。
妈妈喝道：「就是现在！」
我赶紧将火腿粒往锅里送，待妈妈再翻炒一会儿，便将蒸好的白饭倒入锅内。
火力全开！铁锅疾驰！
妈妈纤弱的手臂，竟能举着好几斤重的锅子腾空挥舞，那炒饭粒粒像长了翅膀似地，在空中四处飞翔，然后洒出来好大一片。
我傻眼道：「妈……您这是？」
「没关系。」妈妈瞥了一眼我的鸡巴，神色自若地说道。
那一晚，我吃炒饭妈吃精。两个人都吃得好饱好饱。
【完】
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